MANURE
I’m just a fool who sits around
In a brothel in this town
I lick my lips each one I kiss
And then on each one I go down
I watch the days turn to a year
And as they pass it grows my fear
What have I done what have I done
But give the lust crazed boys their fun
I’m just a whore
I’m just a whore
Until I turn into manure
What does it mean is it a dream
Or is it just one bad joke
I guess I’ll sit here drinking champagne
Until the day I croak
I think I once did have a dream
But now I’m nasty and I’m mean
I’ll suck your wallet I’ll suck it dry
Come on baby give me a try
I’m just a whore
I’m just a whore
Until I turn into manure
I’m just a whore
I’m just a whore
Come on baby me you can paw
Take me now upon the bed
Or take me now upon the floor
And when I wither from the treetop
Then I’ll sell the fresh young crop
I’m just a whore
I’m just a whore
And there is no way to stop
I’m just a whore
I’m just a whore
Until I turn into manure
CANCER
Uncle Bill and auntie Mary
Always used to shout
And uncle Bill would knock
Auntie Mary about
With auntie Mary
In such misery
I always thought that cancer
Was like the cavalry
When cancer cut Bill down
They said what a crying shame
Well I never thought so
And Mary did the same
Let’s face it Bill
You were a bastard through and through
So when that cancer cut him down
I did not feel blue
Cancer cancer it’s so good for you
Cancer cancer it’s so good for you
Cancer it will set you free
The big C was like the cavalry
When he was on his deathbed
One day for a joke
Me and auntie Mary
Fun at him we poked
As he lay there
In his abject pain
Me and auntie Mary
We sung him this refrain
Cancer cancer it’s so good for you ...
When he died
Later that same day
Me and auntie Mary
For him didn’t pray
But sometimes on a winter’s night
Though he has been long gone
Me and auntie Mary
Still sing the same song
Cancer cancer it’s so good for you ...
KICK A BABY
When I’m tired of all the murder
And I’m tired of all the rape
And all the little children
Whose necks I do break
That’s when I satisfy
What I hold most dear
I kick a little baby
Or maybe an old lady
I kick a little baby
Down the stairs
I sneak up behind them
Like a hunter stalks his pray
I kick them down the stairs
And go hip hip hip hurray
When I’m tired of deflowering
Vestal virgin nuns
And sticking red hot pokers
Up the local choir boys’ bums
That’s when I satisfy
What I hold most dear
I kick a little baby
Or maybe an old lady
I kick a little baby down the stairs
I like to hear their little bones
Crack crack crack crack crack
And their heads upon the stairway
Going thwack thwack thwack
Well you might think I’m sick
You might think I’m ill
That I should be locked up
And given loads of pills
But frankly frankly I don’t care
I’ll kick a little baby or maybe an old lady
I’ll kick a little baby down the stairs oh yeah
DROWNING Girl (Bertolt Brecht)
Drowning
Drowning
Drowning …
Under a silver moon
Drunk on the moonshine noon
Drunk on the old pontoon
Falling to your doom
Drowning
Drowning
Drowning …
Your soul floats on the waves
The river’s bed your grave
The water fills your lungs
Your last song has been sung
Drowning
Drowning
Drowning
YELLOW ANGEL
In bars and in restaurants
In the cheapest Paris fairground
Each night he is found
With fury and handwringing
Each night he’s singing
Until he’s laughed out of town
Jazz band goes jingle jangle
Vicious monkeys scramble
To show their crippled teeth all worn down
He’s drunk and he’s obnoxious
And then he’s feeling nauseous
He spreads his faded blooms upon the ground
He’s drunk on his nirvana
Asleep at the piano
In this crazy celebration drowns
Jazz band goes jingle jangle
Vicious monkeys gamble
Shouting Merry Christmas and come on
The musicians they are leaving
Here comes the end of evening
But he can’t even raise his head to frown
And from the green fir branches
A yellow angel drops down
And says poor maestro you’ve lost your crown
They say you sang the tango
In the brothels dens and night streets
You’re a sad and tired clown
And up in the high heavens
God extinguishes the candles
And the yellow angel drowns
GETTING OLD
Getting old got no teeth
Still she’s working in the streets
In the streets in the streets
Got no teeth just got gums
Suck you off ‘til you cum
‘Til you cum ‘til you cum
Getting old
Getting old
In a bar she sits
There amongst the bums and gits
The bums and gits bum and gits
For a drink she shows her tits
For another sucks your dick
Sucks your dick sucks your dick
Getting old
Getting old
In a suburb south of Rome
Works this whore she’s well known
She’s well known she’s well known
In a gutter near a drain
Sucks you off for your change
For your change for your change
She’s getting old
Getting old
Well once was high now low class
All that’s left an empty glass
An empty glass an empty glass
Once a beauty now a hag
On her vomit she does gag
She does gag she does gag
She does gag she does gag
She does gag she does gag
She does gag she does gag
She does gag she does gag
She does gag she does gag
Getting old
Getting old
MY FUNNY VALENTINE
My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile
With my heart
Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet you’re my favourite work of art
Is your figure less than Greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak are you smart
Well don’t change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine
Stay because each day is Valentine’s Day
MASTURBATING JIMMY
Masturbating Jimmy with his pot of Vaseline
In the toilet cistern with his porno magazines
Their pages stuck together from where he does spurt
And on his pot of Vaseline pubic hairs inert
Masturbating Jimmy ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Masturbating Jimmy ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Masturbating Jimmy ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Masturbating Jimmy ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Masturbating Jimmy it suffers his schoolwork
‘Cause when he does his homework
He just jerks and jerks and jerks
Masturbating Jimmy he’s going to lose his mind
And if he doesn’t lose it then he’s going to go blind
Masturbating Jimmy ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Masturbating Jimmy ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Masturbating Jimmy ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Masturbating Jimmy ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Masturbating Jimmy does it ten times a day
And twenty times twenty times on a Sunday
Well Masturbating Jimmy this has got to stop
Otherwise your knob your knob your knob it will fall off
Masturbating Jimmy ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Masturbating Jimmy ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Masturbating Jimmy ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Well you’ve only got a pint and a half
And you’ve almost used the lot
SHE’S A WHORE
GONORRHOEA
My hand’s inside your toilet door
I want your genitals to paw
In this toilet perfumed by piss
I want your young body to kiss
So please indulge
Indulge me dear
My dirty hand has got
Gonorrhoea
I live just round the corner there
I’ve porno films for us to share
So please indulge my filthy mind
That lust has driven blind
Please indulge
Indulge me dear
My dirty hand has got
Gonorrhoea
I’ll wait inside my dirty mac
To welcome you and then attack
My dirty beard stained face
Wants your young body to embrace
So please indulge
Indulge me dear
My dirty hand has got
Gonorrhoea
ETERNITY
When you cut your throat
When you’ve got no hope
By a shaft of light from the moon
Will you take the rope
When you’ve got no hope
And hang yourself from the moon
In the cold blue light
Of a winter’s night
I can hear you in your tomb
There’ll be no release
Your pain won’t cease
For eternity you are doomed
Your suicide
Leaves you to cry
All alone to the moon
God won’t give in
It’s a mortal sin
For eternity you are doomed
For eternity you are doomed
For eternity doomed
The Tiger Lillies and the Symphony Orchestra of Norrlandsoperan.
Swedish 30 piece orchestra meets London filth merchants.
We performed our latest collection of songs in Uma, Sweden in May 2006 with the Symphony Orchestra of Norrlandsoperan who had invited us to perform with them for a live concert series and had full arrangements written for this one-off event. The results were quite startling, one minute dramatic and moving, the next an x-rated warner brothers cartoon score. We felt that it was important to record the show, even just so we could confirm to ourselves that it actually happened.
Credits:
© 2007 MISERY GUTS MUSIC / TIGER 015
ALL SONGS WRITTEN BY MARTYN JAQUES EXCEPT MY FUNNY VALENTINE WRITTEN BY RICHARD RODGERS / LORENZ HART
MARTYN JAQUES - VOCALS / ACCORDION / GUITAR / UKULELE / PIANO
ADRIAN STOUT - DOUBLE BASS / SINGING SAW / BACKING-VOCALS
ADRIAN HUGE - DRUMS / PERCUSSION / BACKING-VOCALS
THE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA OF NORRLANDSOPERAN
RECORDED LIVE AT NORRLANDSOPERAN / BLACK BOX / 13 MAY 2006
CONDUCTED BY HANS EK
PRODUCED BY MARCO FEKLISTOFF AND LENNART STRÖMBÄCK
RECORDING PRODUCER: HANS HJORTEK - MULTIMUSIC
SOUND ENGINEER: ANDERS ZACKRISSON / CHRISTER BLOMGREN - E-SOUND SWEDEN
EDITING: ANDERS ZACKRISSON E-SOUND
MASTERING: CHRISTER BLOMGREN - MOBILE RECORDING AB
PHOTOGRAPHY & DESIGN BY bLUE
